It's 10:30 p.m. and I have not had dinner. My fridge is bare and the freezer food needs to be unthawed. I'm juggling on suffering through the night or grabbing a bag of Ramen noodles and scarfing that down. I should have planned ahead but...................................................................................................................................
Here comes the infamous excuse: I've been too busy!!!
Ha...I should scroll down my previous posts and see how many times I've used that excuse. Even if I didn’t write it, I was telling myself subconsciously that it was okay to not eat right/exercise due to my busy schedule!
Unfortunately, I know there truly is no excuse and if I want something different out of my life....I have to change some things!! I was showing some co-workers some old pictures of me and people were shocked that the girl in the picture could ever be me.....REALITY check!!!! Have I gotten so far gone that even I don't recognize that I'm no longer that girl???? It's a harsh but, definitely needed hit upside the head.
I thought the first encounter with my co-workers was a knock out but, the second one by another co-worker was the K.O. I was sitting their eating a Nutter Butter (I know....I know...I know...) and she said...."Everytime I see you, you got something in your mouth." ***Down goes Frazier!!!* In that moment my heart sank and I thought, "Wow, is that who I've become????" I truly need some divine intervention!!!
I think the true issue is that I feel my motives to lose weight are for superficial reasons. I want to dress in the clothes I love, even though I think I'm pretty fashionable now. I want to be the "total package," whatever that is. None of my desires to lose weight actually stem from wanting a healthy lifestyle. I think this is due to the fact that as of now I have no true health issues. No high blood pressure, no back pain, insomnia, diabetes, or any of the other plethora of issues associated with obesity. I still look in the mirror and feel good about myself....on good days of course. But, at the same time I long for the days of feeling comfortable in shorts, tank tops, and miniskirts.
I'm ambiguous with how I feel about my body. It depends on the day...my mood about myself.
Regardless, I know those conditions associated with obesity will come knocking at my door if I don't change. I do need to make a change today, rather than 10 years from now when it may or may not be too late.
The picture at top is me in the Red shirt and In the bottom picture, I have on the black leggings
Meant to write BEFORE AND AFTER
ReplyDeleteOne of the most difficult things I had to go through before I got it together (well...trying to get there) was to perceive myself through someone else's eyes. It's harsh!
ReplyDeleteThankfully (I don't really mean that) I also had a medical red flags that resulted in a rude awakening: I wasn't even 30 and had elevated BP, glucose, and cholesterol. If those labs came back normal, I don't think I would have had that panic to lose weight, so I understand where you're coming from in terms of not having a medical issue to motivate you.
It's great to want to be healthy, but it doesn't matter if motivation are based on looking good because you get to have both as a result. (I pretend that I want to be healthy and fit, but if I'm honest, it's mainly motivated by vanity).